I have encountered a couple of desperate mums who have said to me, “Mama Sandy, please come to our rescue. Our children are lifeless and turning into thugs and slaves to drugs”. I know, I know. You were still worrying about your children getting exposed to sex at a tender age and here you are now having to worry about drugs.
A mother called me up this week as she cried, helplessly on the other side of the phone. This was like the seventh among the many mothers who have told me about their children’s drug addiction. I don’t think I can make count of the families that are breaking up or mourning the loss of a loved one due to drug abuse. It might be something that you sit back and think, oh well, my kids should be fine if they have not even got to teenage yet. But how wrong you could be!
I found myself wondering why now? I don’t think drugs were this common in the 90s. Even the youth that got into the habit when we were younger did not have as many options as our children have. It takes a lot less effort to find drugs today, because there are a lot more suppliers perhaps, and maybe lots more rich kids all over the place with lots of money to splash. What this means is that you cannot afford to wait for them to get much older to have that chat about using drugs.
Like the sex talk, as soon as you feel comfortable having it, have it. I want to also make an assumption that as parents we are failing at our job. We are quick to look for a solution when the problem arises – yet in actual sense we are meant to tackle this problem and sensitise our children on the existence of drugs and dangers involved before they are victims.
Majority of drug users start by simply experimenting. And before they snap from it, they are addicted and feel like life depends on that puff or pill. Don’t be blinded by your children and think for a moment that they are young and innocent. My children are 10 and 11 years but I already go through the talks on drugs, sex and self-worth on a daily. Of course as they get older, i will have to find new tactics of driving the point home. What I will not do is to sit back and wait for them to get to teenage to have this chat.
Life with two under 2 can be chaotic but it shouldn’t be depressing. Having back-to-back babies can pose a challenge when it comes to managing their routines, but perhaps you should try to sync nap times? If you can get them to sleep about the same times, whether day or night, you won’t have to worry about putting one down only to have to deal with the other getting up.
The sex talk is really terrifying and yes, I know you don’t want to have it. But you must have it. Imagine then that before you can even wrap your head around that one, I am already introducing new ideas- of you talking to your fast-growing little ones about another tricky subject.