Much as I am a mother, I am not an expert in the field of parenting, simply because I am always learning from each of my three children. But when it comes to building my children’s confidence, I am glad I have some fairly fresh personal experiences I can share as someone that was once a child (obviously), then a teenager before I became an adult. The needs and challenges are pretty much the same. The modes/means of communication between parent and child might have expanded and/or evolved over time thanks to technology, but the primary messages in our interactions on this subject remain the same.
I therefore believe that the only way i will build their confidence is by being a friend and always listening to what they have to tell me before I can choose what to sieve. I will term it as having an open relationship with my children. They know they can trust me to be a resource when they are troubled. I actually look forward to the challenges of the teenage years. It is through those challenges that we will find strength and soften the hard edges of our exteriors to reveal the shining light from within.
Building confidence in children has no end-game, because confidence is not something you feel or have all the time. True confidence, the kind that serves us throughout all of life comes when we know we can draw upon our inner voice, strength, and wisdom to help us navigate any situation that comes our way. Children who are not confident find difficulty in being themselves because they tend to pay too much attention to the question of whether or not the world will welcome them or shun them. Frequently this becomes “noise” as a result of the countless voices coming at them from both within and outside, and which then creates an inner tension.
Confidence means allowing the kids to take little risks and letting the failure they encounter pave the way to their future successes. They may not make a “right” decision on the first go ‘round,’ but part of the confidence continuum is also accepting that perfection is not the goal…growing, learning and becoming the biggest most self-aware human beings is. So give your children a chance to learn to adventure without worrying and make sure you will sail through with them when it storms.
