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10 things Zari has that 99% Ugandan women don’t

Matooke Republic by Matooke Republic
December 7, 2016
in Featured Stories, LOL
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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Zari Hassan is not your usual socialite. She is beautiful and she knows it. Knowing it is not enough. She knows how to use it. Unlike many Ugandan women, Zari is extra-ordinary who has had five children from two different equally glamorous “marriages”. She will surely have no problems with accounting to God how she used the beauty she was blessed with while on earth come judgment day. But does she have what other women don’t? 

  1. Real bum

In this era of FACCO and bum implants, you can never know whether a woman’s sitting allowance is real or fake. But we can all trust Zari’s because we have not seen it germinate of recent. She has been carrying her pound of gold for as long as we can remember.
10 things Zari has that 99% Ugandan women don’t

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    1. Success transmission

    She has that winner attitude. She has transmitted success to all men she has slept with. When she dated Isaac Lugudde, the basket baller who drove a pimped corona ride, Zari’s success traits enabled him get signed to a South African basketball team where he became a huge star covering magazines. Lugudde’s absence irreversibly affected Uganda’s economy as rolex guys around YMCA Wandegeya had lost a customer who bought his share one year in advance. When she dated Rasta Rob, the guy was the biggest star in the country. He got high on it and flew abroad. Kampala forgot about that one too. Little known Farouk Sempala became an overnight socialite after getting warmth from Zari’s chambers. Ivan Ssempala’s rich gang evolved into broke gang after Zari chucked him. Then Diamond! Man, the guy became an international sensation after getting a good one. He was sharp enough to own it and as long as they live together, he might even scoop Grammy. 

    1. Money-maker

    Unlike most Ugandan women lying down, facing the ceiling and waiting for the man to sweat for each and every coin, Zari goes her way and makes that money. Who does not know about the All White Party?

    1. Go-getter

    She knows what she wants and she won’t let anything hold her down. Not even a marriage ring, cars or her kids.

    1. Push it

    Every man loves a woman who will make them dad. Zari has pushed and is still happily pushing. Ladies, what’s your excuse?

    1. Love for kids

    She loves children and is always in mood of making them. Seen why men love her?

    1. Class

    She knows her lane and won’t back down when she wants to elevate. Ask Ivan.

    1. No smiley

    She is not always teething. Check her photos. She is calm, composed and knows what to do to make a man happy instead of nio nio nio nio around

    1. Rich man magnet

    She knows how to attract the wealthy. Ladies, true love is sweeter with money. No lie

    1. Open minded

    Yes, she is. Her husband is 10 years younger than her. She was previously married to Ivan, a witch doctor. Now ladies, what excuses do you have. 

    Be like Zari but don’t be Kalahari. Thank you!



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