Mummy! Maama Sandy, Aunty Sandra, Mummy-cool…These are some of the many name tags children call me by, and I am surely blessed and honoured. What does your child call you?
Oftentimes I hear children call their parents by their names, like, “Susan how are you?” and I have met mothers who’ve shared about the discomfort and depression it brings them.
Some mothers have gone as far as initiating getaways with the children so as to bond with them and hopefully squeeze the “mum” out of them. Others have tried to play tough to make them call out mama, all with no luck. It gets me wondering why would a child call a mother by her name?
Being called mum, maama, mother is the best thing that could ever happen to a woman, but then it’s no crime if your children don’t easily get accustomed to it. That should not mean they love you less. Some parents would not mind their child calling them by their first name. Also, children like to experiment with independence, which is age-appropriate, and you don’t want to discourage that.
On the other hand, ignoring it doesn’t give these little ones the information they need. Just because it is OK for their friends to call you by your name doesn’t mean you want your children to call you the same. So your goal is to teach this social “rule” without making it into a big deal. You might start by pointing out that all children have Mamas, and encouraging them to greet you by calling you Mama.
You can also seek help from their school teachers, for instance, when you arrive to pick them up,she can say to them “Your mama is here!” Then say to your child, “And where’s YOUR Mama?! That’s right, I’m right here!” as you give a hug. This makes clear to your child/children that “Everyone has a Mama that is their own special Mama” and that the social rule is that we only call our own mums by this special name.
Reading with them is another way to reinforce this. You can show them mothers and children in books and say “That’s his Mama!” It’s also great if you can make up conversation for book characters, or his stuffed animals, in which mothers and children interact and the kids call their mums “Mama.”
Finally, when your child calls you by your name, insist that because they are your child, only they get to call you Mama! Never be negative about being called by your name, just gently point out how much you love for them to call you Mama. You will have to repeat this a few times, but over time they will get it.
– Musimentas@gmail.com
