Nothing puts me in panic like the thought of having a teenager in my house. My first born son is 10 years old but he reasons like a 16-year-old. His choice of topics for discussion sometimes overwhelms me. Children these days are in such a hurry to grow up! I am always worried about certain things like; how will I be able to keep his movements, friends and lifestyle in check when he makes 15?
I get panic attacks at the thought of how I will manage when his voice is deeper and he is taller. When I won’t slap him on the cheeks to discipline him! What will I do when he starts walking out of the house without asking for permission and when he starts bringing a gang of friends to our now peaceful quiet home! I will go crazy. I will lose myself and quarrel with him at any slight mistake that he makes. Home will be a battle field. Harsh words will be exchanged and voices will be raised. Ahhh, I don’t want to imagine all this chaos so I must be prepared. I have to devise means of how to live peacefully with him.
I have been rehearsing. I am preparing for that time which won’t catch me unaware. I will not allow a mere teen to overthrow his parents. I must do something.
The last time I met Aisha she gave me tips which have worked for her. Looking at her teen children, I am almost sure these tips could work for me and you all who are panicking as much as I am.
Keep your teen busy. Let them know that they must clean their room, lay their own bed, do their laundry and take out clutter. Your teen should learn to take care of their toiletries and they should take part in house chores. You could assign a particular chore. Say preparing breakfast and washing dishes in the morning once a week. There won’t be room for boredom with household activities being done. Taking part in house chores will also give them a sense of responsibility. Don’t pay them for doing this.
Stay true to your bottom line all the time. If you set rules on what time your teen has to be back home, don’t shift poles when he breaks the rules. If you say they must be home by 10pm, then 10pm it must be. A few disciplinary measures must also be known to them so that in case they don’t respect the rules, they are aware of the consequences.
Respect your teen’s privacy. Believe that you have trained them well all these past years. Trust them and stop looking through their diary, computer or phone. Watch them though but don’t override their space. Leave a room where they can host their friends and talk without being intruded but make them all know that they can’t violate this privilege.
Regulate visits. Time when friends can come in and go must be put in place. Your teen should be told what number of friends they can host at a time. When visiting, parents should check on them while in this “private” place once in a while just to make the whole team know that you still are the boss.
Take your teen with you to your workplace. Let them see how you make ends meet. The earning and spending process is learnt by example. Be the best example they can have and when they help at work, pay for their services.
