Confusion consumed my little girl’s face as her aunt tried to explain to her that children are not allowed in the kitchen in her household. Well, things are different in my household. We have rules and regulations on which our home is run but also we have separate rules and distribution of house chores. No one is left out, not even Jasmine the youngest of all. At least I will intentionally mess up her toys rack and have her organise the way I want. Of course this tires me more because I have to illustrate how I want them organised and sometimes she will just refuse to get it just so she can see what our son calls “mum’s angry face”.
Whenever my children complete their chore list without being reminded, they place a sticker on the refrigerator. If they did not do their chores, they remove a previously earned sticker. If either or both of them earn enough stickers, they are rewarded with one of the many options in the prize box (a date at KFC, a new pair of shoes etc.). No one is given direct payment for doing chores, though because I like to discourage that.
I have also taken house work time to be a good platform for relationship building. When my oldest boy stressed over his chores, especially doing the dishes, I watched my husband as he devised means to work alongside him, giving him an occasional elbow nudge or playfully splashing him. Soon his wall of resistance vanished. Now I view chores as a family relationship builder instead because my son and husband have since taken it on as their bonding activity. I am quite certain that the recently well planned out Mother’s Day surprise lunch was done during the house work time.
Household chores serve several important teaching benefits regarding social responsibility. They allow the child to experience both a sense of contribution to the family and a sense of accomplishment and, in turn, this allows a sense of pride in that accomplishment. I cannot explain the look of satisfaction my children have when they complete a task given to them. My son goes on to thump his chest and says “Mummy I’m a man”.
Teaching children to accept responsibilities within their family is the best way of preparing them to accept and satisfy the numerous other social responsibilities they will encounter outside the family as they grow older. This is important for many reasons, including the opportunity to experience a sense of contribution, pride, self-respect and a strong, constructive connection to society.
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